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5.0 | 200,000+ decks sold
Keep choosing each other. Grow closer through every season of marriage.
140 essential questions & activities for money, family, desire, and the life you're building. Co-created with love by real couples and marriage counselors.
Move through the rooms of a shared life, from the everyday to the unspoken
Get practical about money, conflict, desire, and who you're becoming
Run a ritual once a season to come back to each other on purpose
Note: this physical deck ships mid-October. Instant digital access.
Note: this physical bundle ships mid-October. Instant digital access.
Free Digital Deck: Instant Access ($20 Value)
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✔ Only 0.17% of customers have claimed our Money-Back Guarantee since 2023
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About Preorders (Instant Access)
We made 7 new connection decks this year and you can be one of the first to use them by preordering. We will give you digital access to the full deck right away!
The physical decks are being printed right now and we'll start shipping them to customers mid-October.
1. Intimacy Is Human
2. Marriage Is Human
3. Emotions Are Human
4. Families Are Human
5. Parenting Is Human
6. Coworkers Are Human
7. Everyone Is Human
If your order includes a deck that's on preorder, we'll ship your entire order together once everything is ready by default. This helps us reduce our carbon footprint and minimize packaging waste ♻️
We'll email you as soon as we ship your order, and you'll get instant digital access in the meantime.
Want your in-stock items sooner?
Just reply to your confirmation email or reach out to us at hello @ parentsarehuman.com. We're happy to ship any products we have on hand right away at no extra charge.
Every order comes with lifetime access to the digital version of your deck, so you can start using them and connecting immediately ❤️
Marriage Is Human is a toolkit for two people building a life together.
Made with real couples and marriage counselors, this deck holds 140 prompts that help you:
– Visit the parts of a shared life you rarely put words to
– Get playful and practical about touch, plans, flirting, and remembering
– Come back to each other on purpose, once a season or once a year
A marriage holds both the private and the practical: how you talk, how you build, what you carry, how you fight, how you desire, who you become. The questions cover the rooms you live in all the time, and the doors you haven't opened yet.
Twenty Renewal Ritual cards set this deck apart from any other marriage gift. It's a ceremony we've created for a lasting marriage. There are three acts:
1. Four opening rituals to settle in and name what is unsaid
2. Twelve check-In rituals for the parts of your life that need attention this season
3. Four closing rituals to name what you carry forward
Budget an hour, which is plenty, or two if you want to go deep and do all twenty steps.
We recommend couples use this deck before getting married, and once you're married, anytime is a good time to start, wherever you are.
What You Get
✔️ 84 Question Cards that move from the everyday to the unspoken
✔️ 36 Activity Cards for touch, plans, flirting, and remembering
✔️ 20 Renewal Ritual Cards, a ceremony in three acts you can run every season
✔️ Start at Level 1 (light side), flip to Level 2 (dark side) when it feels right
✔️ Guide cards for hard conversations, including what to do when one of you gets overwhelmed
✔️ Lifetime digital access, available the moment you order
✔️ Pocket-sized: a premium two-part box with a velvety matte finish, 2.9 x 1.3 x 3.7 in, 6.8 oz. Easily slips into a pocket, bag, or purse.
✔️ Premium 1,200 GSM two-part box, matte laminated cards
How to Use It
Get comfortable, without distractions.
– Pick a question and read it aloud. One or both of you can answer. You can skip any card, and you don't have to say why.
– Start at Level 1. Flip to Level 2 when it feels right.
– Add an activity when you want to do something instead of talk about it.
– Save the Renewal Rituals for a longer sitting, a few times a year.
When this deck can help
– Slow mornings, long drives, the couch
– Before the wedding, and on every anniversary after
– Before a big change: moving, a new job, a baby, a diagnosis
– Apart for a while, swapping prompts by text or on a call
– When nothing's wrong, which is when you hear each other best
💡 Make It a Ritual: Our favorite is the once-a-week ritual of one card, for 1-2+ years!
Why It Works
Everyone expects it to be much more awkward than it is.
Studies † show that people vastly underestimate how much they enjoy going deeper, and how much the other person wants to go there too. You know how good these conversations feel once they start. We wanted more of them ourselves, so we made these decks to have them with the people who matter most to you.
Two levels, because one step at a time is what works.
Closeness doesn't come from a single great question. It comes from a sequence that starts easy and gets more personal, with everyone answering. Complete strangers ‡ have felt close in 45 minutes this way. Every card has a light side and a deeper side, so you set the pace and go together. Most people are surprised how quickly they want to turn the card over.
It's the card asking, not you.
Thinking up a good question puts you on the spot, and asking it can feel like a personal request. You pull a physical card at random, and that takes the pressure off everyone. Nobody has to explain why they want to know. Nobody has to defend bringing it up. A physical deck gets you to questions you'd never come up with on your own, like whether you still want the same life, and pulling one at random is where the magic is.
A little and often beats a lot at once.
One card a week for a year is a different thing from one long conversation. When I was first starting this company in 2019, I had barely spoken to my parents in over twelve years, and when we did it was either the same argument or the same handful of short conversations. I pulled one new card a week with them over the phone. We got close enough that we now work together every day. Small and repeated is how you deepen a relationship with almost anyone, at any stage, even one that feels beyond repair.
† People underestimate how much they enjoy deeper conversation. Kardas, Kumar & Epley (2022)
‡ Escalating mutual disclosure between strangers. Aron and colleagues (1997)
A marriage is built one conversation at a time. 🩷
Money, where you want to live, caregiving, and the patterns you each grew up with. Talk it through while the decisions are open.
Essential questions for an intentional life together, whether you're thinking about marriage or have been married for decades.
Renewal Rituals for once a year or once a season, so you can catch up on who you have each become since the last one.
One card with your morning coffee, once a week, for years.

Frequently Asked Questions
Yes, $39 may sound expensive for a deck of cards. Here's why ours is worth this much, or 100% of your money back.
They're meticulously developed and refined over years.
We research and hand-write each card with input from experts who also test it with their clients, alongside hundreds of playtesters who use the cards in their real lives. Every time we reprint a deck, we try to improve it based on the feedback we get.
Informed by neuroscience and over $50,000 in programs and therapy.
In the last decade we've personally gone through more than $50,000 in inner work programs, workshops, and individual and group therapy. Some of the approaches we've learned from include:
– Cognitive and behavioral neuroscience
– Social psychology
– Internal Family Systems (IFS) and other parts work
– Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
– Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
– Emotional inquiry and body awareness
– Meditation (breathwork and body scan)
– Integral and executive coaching
– Social and emotional learning
– Consent and boundary practices
– Grief counseling
We draw on what we've learned to inform how we write every card.
Something you can use every week.
Our favorite way to use a deck is once a week. I did this with my parents for a year: just one card, one question a week on a call. It felt as if we made more progress in our relationship than a decade on our own.
– A meal out for two can easily cost $60 to $90, and that's just one meal.
– Four decks are $78. About the same as one dinner, except you'll still be using them years from now.
– At $39, using this deck once a week for a year works out to $0.75 a week.
A small family business.
We have no outside investors and spend extra on the things we care about: recyclable and reusable packaging, 1,200 GSM card stock, Pantone colors, and organic pigments. We keep looking for ways to reduce our environmental impact. Every order is packed by hand, and we regularly donate decks to nonprofits, community organizations, and projects through our in-kind donation program.
It costs less the more you add.
One deck is $39. Any four are $78, or $19.50 each. We've gotten so much out of having these conversations with the people in our lives. We want you to have something for everyone in your life and to be able to gift these easily, so we discount the bundles heavily.
Couples thinking about being together for the long-run, engaged couples, newlyweds, and couples decades in.
It's the perfect wedding or anniversary gift. Ages 18 and up.
We make these decks so you can ask the questions you would otherwise never get to, and try things you would not have thought to try. Each one touches on different topics, and you'll get something different out of each. That's why we recommend bundling them.
– Loving Is Human. What do you notice about the way you date? Reflections on your patterns, what you truly want, and what you've learned about love and relationships.
– Partners Are Human. Who have you both become? The person you're with isn't the person you met, and neither are you.
– Intimacy Is Human. How deeply are you willing to be known? You'll say what you want, say the things you've never said out loud, and learn how to find your way back after a difficult time.
– Marriage Is Human. How do you build a life together? You'll talk about money, family, big life decisions, and have renewal rituals to check in with each other regularly.
No. A lot of couples use it when they're just thinking about the long-run, well before the wedding. The questions about money, family and what you each expect are easier to ask while they are still hypothetical.
It can also help you better understand where you and your partner fit naturally together and where you'll need extra support. There are no perfect pairings, just people willing to work through the differences!
The deck is built for three stages: deciding to marry, the first year, and every year after. You'll find cards that don't apply yet. Leave them, and come back when they do.
We ship all in-stock orders within 24 hours of your purchase; same-day if ordered by 3 pm PT Mon-Sat. 📦
Domestic orders within the United States typically arrive within 1-5 days of shipping (depending on how far you are from where we ship in San Francisco, CA), with many faster options available at checkout.
Orders outside the US usually arrive within 1-3 weeks.
Free shipping in the US with 2+ products 🇺🇸
Free shipping to Canada with 2+ products 🇨🇦
Flat rate global shipping 🌏
Every order is hand-packed by my Mom & Dad then delivered to the post office with the utmost love and care. 🫶
During the holiday rush, we have some wonderful partners in Tennessee who help us ship a part of our orders.
Our Happiness Guarantee is simple: we offer free returns on all products purchased on this website within 100 days and a 100% refund, no questions asked.
Since 2023, only 0.17% of customers have claimed our 100-day Money-Back Guarantee. We're confident you'll love it.
If you have a problem with your order (shipping mishaps, damaged/incorrect products, etc.), we will solve it, whatever it takes. Just reach out.
Thank you for your trust and support.
DECKS FOR EVERY RELATIONSHIP
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AS SEEN ON







My Parents Hand Pack Every Order With ♥️
I used our flagship deck to connect with my parents once a week for a year, and we went from barely ever talking for more than a decade to now working every day together.
We're living proof that our decks work.
When you order from us, Mama & Papa Lam will hand-pack then ship your order with the utmost love & care within a few hours.
Sending you all our love. 🫶

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